ADHD and me (& possibly you!)

I've never really talked about this publicly before. So if you're affected by this, get in touch! It can be useful chatting these things through.

You may have heard about the shit storm that followed the BBC Panorama documentary, 'Private ADHD clinics exposed'. 

It's everso trendy to be neurodiverse these days. It's also little wonder that many of us are experiencing ADHD symptoms in our digitally-obsessed culture of infinity scrolling clickbait. 

 Here's my own story.  Warning: I've nowt to compare it with, so this may well contradict your own experience.

I was granted an adult diagnosis. Hard to obtain (I'm told) but fairly text book, since I exhibited all the classic symptoms as a kid (teacher called me Mr Daydream *tick*). 

It's little wonder really, since I was forced to navigate queerness under Tory accredited homophobes in the 90s. Mild/consistent trauma often leads to dissociation of some kind.

Here's the thing: I'm (for the most part) a high functioning adult and only did it because I wanted a bit of visibility around the process. So I was given a few questionnaires to fill out, along with a long f2f interview (from a time-poor woman desperate to stigmatise my every move ). 

Once the doctor knew I had an otherwise clean bill of health, she cried out, "You'll be a dream to medicate!" (actual words - she was excited), before splaying out her glossy, pill popping portfolio . It felt like a full diagnosis with the arbitrary accuracy of dunking someone's brain in a sheep dip attached to a roulette wheel. 

This woman was genuinely behaving as though she was being incentivised. I've seen similar scenes in telemarketing offices . Temp staff leaping to their feet all excited because they've sold an electricity/gas combo to an elderly caller in Tunbridge Wells (they'd get to bang a gong and everyone would clap). 

I was immediately discharged and given no follow up support (zero/nada ). I didn't need any but still, by contrast, the pills were falling out of the cupboard in abundance. 

ADHD is a label that's so often pathologised. Share the news with your mates and they'll put you in a box in their mind. They won't tell you, but it's easy to spot their pigeon assessments taking place . The trouble is, it's so easy to talk yourself into a diagnosis. Literally anyone can do it; NHS wait times notwithstanding. Go private and they'll get you on drugs in 30-minutes (without the involvement of a psychiatrist if you watch Panorama).

 Let's skywrite the fact that meds can help people. If this is you, then fabulous! Science can indeed be a wonderful thing. I flushed mine so I guess I'll never know. I'm not a conspiracy nut, nor a new age therapist with a bee in my bonnet about big pharma. I just knew I genuinely didn't need them.

The NHS really does love chucking pills into the void. I've provided support to victims of serious/violent crime for years and a huge proportion of clients were on antidepressants. Few were signed up for any kind of talking therapy. 

I'm left questioning a systemic lack of interest in assessing the underlying cause of mass distraction OR providing post diagnosis support. Perhaps another indication that our beloved health service is becoming more Americanised by the day.

One certainty - our collective stories contain the medicine. 

Keep telling yours!